if I could
If I could I would call him up right now and tell him how sorry I was for breaking his heart but most of all for lying to him. I told him I loved him when I only wanted too, but that was just my selfish want. I knew then that I couldn’t really love him but my selfish feelings wanted him to be it. I wanted this perfect heart, face and way about him to be mine and it seemed simple enough because he felt it for me. He wanted me to be his forever with every scar that had nothing to do with perfection, and I thought over time I would learn what love was. Maybe I thought it didn’t matter anymore and that he would take care and love me. late at nights I would hold my pillow close to my heart and tell myself over and over “can’t you just be happy with that?” But I wasn’t and couldn’t.
No matter how the story goes on from there, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have stayed, I shouldn’t have cheated, but I did. the reason I stayed, is because I knew no one else did and I wanted to be his replaced lost mother, his crazy father, and his family. I wanted to be something he could hold on to even though everything else broke and fell apart. I wanted to, not for love but because I cared for him and I still care for him.
I just wish he knew that I am sorry for what I’ve done.
Burnt a little more.
No matter where you are,
No matter how bad it hurts.
Their is someone else out there,
That has been left a little more burnt.
She smiles a little less,
She breaths a little deeper.
Her world has already fallen apart,
But stands as if nothing can hurt her.
Maybe that’s because nothing can,
She has already had the worst.
You haven’t got there yet,
Or you wouldn’t have words.
You wouldn’t have tear at all,
Because there’s nothing but hurt.
You wouldn’t wish for change,
Because you’re a little to burnt.
I saw you.
you looked good
like you’re finally becoming
the person you are meant to be
you have found a
how to give the
world what it needs
and how to
to what you
I saw you
farther from the
and you looked good
Bill Winchester (via jackattack93)brightlightsloudnoises)
Almost a year ago
Almost a year ago..
I was standing in an antique store with wondering eyes, and no idea what I was looking for. I looked through their old clothes, and jewelry, yet that didn’t catch my eye. I looked through the paintings, photos, and china but nothing. I gave up and as I was walking out when the old lady spoke up, “Did you find anything?” I hate these moments because she’s looking to change my mind and buy something but there is nothing in this place for me. I turn to her and smiled as I tried to find the best way to say no your stuff is shit. But befoee i could, she looked passed me with a smile and forgot me. A manly voice broke through the room “So can I get it?” The poor lady tried to sound sexy with her reply “the organ is in the back.” I turn around to a 6 foot man who was wear a nice shirt with a vest and pants. He looked like a man from the old black and white movies. He catch my eye and walked out of my life. Simplely and clean without anything and I didn’t know than that weeks later we would meet again but this time for good.
You’re the gray between black and white.
You’re the set between the sun and the night.
You’re the last breath between life and death.
You’re the something between everything and nothing.